Four Years and Five Lifetimes
by earthbender068
Summary: orihime must return to japan after leaving for four years, to help chad. can she deal with the feelings she has for ichigo that caused her to leave in the first place. oh my, my first bleach story. ichigoxorihime. rated t just in case.


whew...this is the first time i've been around here in a couple of weeks. personal stuff, which basically caused me to have no desire to write or read. hopefully my mood will start to shift. i had this in my document manager since the beginning of the year. so here it is.

those of you bleach fans who don't know me, this is my first non naruto story. (i normally write sakura from that series...unless a good yaoi blot bunny hits) so please be gentle with me. i've only watched up to the grim/ichigo fight in hueco mundo, and i don't read the manga. but i do have a 20 year old who's caught up on both, so i steal little bits of info from him. i do happen to like ichigo and orihime as a couple. but i think i'm going to lose that battle. and i'm sure i'll lose the ichigo and uryu. oh well, there's always fanfiction. :)

before orihime left with ulquiorra, she visited ichigo, and it made me so sad. to hear her speak of how she would love to spend five life times with him. poor girl. but anyway, here's my little stroy, and i hope you like it.

also i don't own bleach or the characters.

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**Four Years, and Five Life Times.**

Orihime looked out over the night sky. The coolness of the glass door that led to the balcony of her fourteenth floor apartment reminded her of the chill that had settled over the city. Being a New Yorker now, she was looking forward to a white Christmas in two weeks.

Her delicate hands brushed the strands of reddish brown locks from her chest over her shoulder to hang down her back. Since leaving Japan, her hair had reached a length to the base of her back. Gray colored eyes narrowed at the people on the streets below. Focusing in on a man walking toward her building. Easily recognized as her boyfriend, William. Over six feet, with a muscular and lean build in the dark gray overcoat that he wore. The dark brown hair that curled when it was wet, inside a winter hat, his confident stride as he guided himself through the other pedestrians carrying packages full of holiday shopping.

William was American and the first decent boyfriend that Orihime seriously dated since her move to the United States four years prior. He was four years older and worked in the district attorney's office just after graduating law school. His career was promising, and he adored Orihime.

The young Japanese woman was doing well for herself also. After arriving in a foreign country, she made a fast track career in hosting of a morning show, that eventually led to her having her own show on the national food network. There was plenty of traveling and guest chefs. Each week she explored unusual recipes and foods of different countries and cultures, with the exception of Japan. Written iron clad in her contract was a clause that prevented her from traveling to the country, unless of her own choosing.

Her homeland was no longer home. Her brother passed away long ago, and parents left behind never cared for their youngest child. That was until she was seen on tv in Karakura Town. One day later, after the special on her career aired on the local news, her phone rang with the producers of the newscast hoping to do the highly expected rating special reunion of the local celebrity and her estranged parents, at their loving and tearful request.

Surprised were the same producers to learn the young woman had developed a slight American shell, telling the producers to inform her parents, they would not receive a dime from her. The phone did not ring after that. Orihime would have liked to say that hurt, but deep in her heart it did not. Her mother, a prostitute that helped feed into her father's alcoholism had long ago been written off in her heart. At that time, it was a difficult decision, because she wanted to believe in the good of all people. Not seeing either of them at her brother, Sora's, memorial service had been the determining factor.

Sighing, she pulled her thoughts away from the sad memories of her family. So many other regrets were tied into remembering the past. Preferring to place them in a small box within her mind. She was smart enough to know this was not healthy, but she could only continue to pray the box would not be the cause of her own self destruction.

Slowly she went to the living room, to receive William. The couple was hosting a dinner for a few of William's friends, and she wanted everything to be perfect, especially her mood. The snow was pretty, but she could well understand how people were depressed in the winter months. A feeling of emptiness had managed to creep it's way into her soul over the last week.

Dinner guests arrived shortly after William, and Orihime found herself pushing back thoughts of her own friends. Light jazz played in the background, with numerous side conversations going on between the group of six. A side glance out the balcony window caused her to nearly drop a tray of tea cups.

William rushed to her side, rescuing the china from crashing onto the hardwood floors.

"Orihime, are you okay," her boyfriend asked with concern. Perceptive to her moods, he was concerned for her. He wanted to believe it was due to the holiday season approaching. Hoping it was just depression of being away from her family, he'd planned to take her to Florida for the holiday week.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I was distracted for a moment," she mumbled embarrassed. Twenty four years of being Japanese caused her to bow to her guests out of habit. With her head facing the ground, she dared to look sideways once more.

Perched on her balcony railing was a shinigami. The black uniform of the soul reaper blowing in the small breeze. The slight turn of his head acknowledged the woman's presence, but he did not move from his post. She cursed herself for being taken of guard. This was not the first shinigami that she had seen since moving to this city. Death was an everyday occurrence in the city that never sleeps, and Orihime spotted a shinigami at least three times a week.

Never would they communicate with her, but she was sure they knew exactly who she was. Being on the team with the substitute soul reaper, a quincy, and another human with spiritual powers, made her basically famous in Soul Society. That went without mentioning the time she'd spent as a prisoner in Hueco Mundo. No, there wasn't a soul reaper worth his sword that didn't know, _him_, Uryu Ishida, Yasutora Sado, or her Orihime Inoue. There was also the fact that her spiritual pressure was still as strong as ever, without using any of it. A constant reminder of her former life.

Rising up from bowing to her guests, she blushed.

"Oh, Orihime, you are just too darling," gushed the blonde college friend of William, Ashleigh. "You aren't in Japan anymore."

"Sorry, it's a habit." Orihime ran her hands through her hair nervously. She turned to William to take the serving tray. "I'm okay now."

She placed the tray on the coffee table. William placed his hand on the small of her back, rubbing it slightly.

"Are you feeling okay," he whispered in her ear. "I can ask them to leave."

"No, don't be ridiculous," she turned to him and forced a smile. She began pouring coffee to the guests.

From the side of the room that held the bookshelf, Melody, William's coworker, pulled out a photo album and began flipping through the pages. An act that would never happen in Japan, but Americans, Orihime learned, were more open and less concerned with their host's privacy.

"Orihime, are these pictures of you in Japan?" The brunette spoke curiously.

Orihime was not too fond of this woman. She was obsessed with Japan and it's culture. Each time they saw her, she would stick to Orihime's side asking constant questions.

"Why, yes, they are," she replied meekly. Her gaze turned to William for help. He was aware of her desire to leave Japan in Japan, but it was too late. The others gathered around the album, interested in the contents.

Melody made her way to the couch and pulled Orihime down beside her. The elder woman opened the book back to the beginning and started firing questions.

"Who is this?"

"Where was that?"

"What type of clothing is that called?"

"How do you say this in Japanese?"

Orihime answered each question, dreading the middle of the book.

"Is this you in high school?" Melody's voice rose, pointing to a picture of the friends.

"Yes it is." Orihime nodded her head looking at the photo. From across the room she could feel William's eyes on her. She wondered how he felt at this moment. Here were almost strangers looking through a book of her past, and she had never shared these memories with him.

"Who are they?" Ashleigh piped in on the conversation. She was leaning over the back of the couch between Orihime and Melody to get a better look.

"That is my friend, Tatsuki chan, beside her is Uryu kun, and the taller guy is Chad, kun," she pointed to each of the faces in the picture. With the exception of Orihime and Rukia, who were smiling brightly, every other face was serious. Swallowing, she continued, "That is Rukia chan, and Kurosaki kun."

Not looking up, she felt the heat in her face. She had almost managed to say his name, but at the last minute referred to him more formally. The name was too hurtful for her to say aloud. Four years later, and her heart was still to soft to let the name pass through her lips.

"Awh, it's so cute to hear people referred to that way. I've only heard it in those programs I watch." Melody gushed.

Orihime spent the next ten minutes naming off others, Keigo, Chizuru, and Mizuiro. With each photo she found her eyes glancing back to the strawberry haired vizard Ikkaku, Yumichika, Rangiku, Renji, and Captain Hitsugaya were even in school uniforms in several of the photos.

"This kid is in high school?" Brady pointed to the young captain. "And what's the deal with the hair color over there? I thought you dyed your hair, but it seems not everyone is dark haired."

"Well, this guy doesn't eve have hair." Ashleigh pointed to Ikkaku, giggling. "He's bald in high school!"

Orihime was sure that some where out there Ikkaku was mad at this very moment.

"Oh, Hitsugaya san, was considered a genius for his age." Orihime answered. She was also very frightened that the tenth division captain would show up to personally correct her rudeness had she not addresses him in the proper fashion.

"So Orihime, which of these guys was your boyfriend," the brunette girl to her left asked shamelessly.

If she could have been swallowed up by the couch, she would have taken that rather than having a room full of people, including her boyfriend, see the reaction that question brought.

Sputtering and blushing, she managed to get out, "None of them. I was just good friends with them all."

"Mhm." Melody raised an eyebrow. "Sure you were."

"Guys, come on, give my little blossom a break." William rescued her. He gave her a quick wink, and she nodded her gratitude. "I thought we were talking about how the Steelers weren't going to repeat."

The men drifted into the conversation centered around sports, while the women continued to browse the photo album. Pictures of all her friends, plus Kisuke, Yoruichi, Jinta torturing Ururu, and Tessai were throughout the album. Orihime looked down at the one picture of Ichigo with a smile. Their graduation day, and the candid shot had the group celebrating.

"Orihime, are you sure you didn't have a boyfriend in this group?" Ashleigh questioned. Her long pink finger nail tapped Ichigo in the photograph. "This boy is looking at you like you were more than just a friend."

"He sure is. I would love to have a guy look at me like that." Lily, Brady's wife grinned. "He looks like he would go to the ends of the earth for you."

If only they knew the truth about how far Ichigo would truly go for a friend.

Stormie giggled nervously, and blurted out, "Ichigo kun didn't think of me that way."

William's green eyes locked with hers at the mention of the name. Orihime was unsure why, but a frown passed over her boyfriend's face. There could be no way that he would know what Ichigo meant to her. She had never mentioned his name or discussed anything of her high school career. Who would believe her when she stated her hair pins would turn into tiny spiritual beings, or her two other friends wielded swords, one could shot arrows of energy, and yet another could transform his arms into defensive or offensive weapons? Though the expression on his face, was unsettling to Orihime.

"He was dating Rukia chan, when I left Japan," she quickly added.

Suddenly the hair on her arm began to raise and a chill went down her spine. A hollows scream echoed in her ear, and she focused so hard to excuse herself to walk into the kitchen. It was hard to remain calm and not charge out into battle when the screech of a hollow filled the air. Her training still caused her to initially want to speed off into the night. Leaning back against the counter in her kitchen, she watched the soul reaper push off the balcony railing into the night.

"I'm serious, something was screaming out there," the dark haired man walked over to the balcony's glass door to prove himself right. "You guys mean to tell me you can't hear that?"

"I think you've had enough wine, Brady man." Greg laughed at the man at the balcony, while the other guests chimed in.

"He's always like that," his petite wife, Lily added. "We're in bed asleep, and he sits up, scaring the crap out of me, talking about hearing screams in the night. I'm thinking of taking him into work and having one of the psychiatrists examine him."

Orihime had always noticed a spiritual energy around Brady. Assuming he was much like Don Kanonji, a human with abilities that he didn't realize. This time when the hollow appeared, Orihime could feel his pressure peak. The others continued to kid Brady over hearing noises, and by the end of the night, they'd crowned him a psychic to the other world.

The evening was over, and Orihime was relieved to lock her door. Turning to face the almost empty apartment, she saw William looking in the discarded album. The same expression on his face of hurt and Orihime wasn't sure, but her gut reaction said it was jealousy.

"I''m going to start the dishwasher," she said walking toward the kitchen. The nervous feeling in her stomach growing. Unsure if it was the hollow's presence, Brady's spiritual power, even looking at pictures of her old friends, or a combination of all three, Orihime was anxious to get the day over.

William did not answer. The cold water rising off the plates, she felt him enter the kitchen.

"This Ichigo, you had a thing with him?" William asked from the entryway of the kitchen. His face serious, when she looked back over her shoulder at him.

Orihime let the plate slip from her fingers to the dishwasher with a clang. "What makes you say that?"

"Did you," he stepped into the kitchen. The photo album still in his hand and open the page Ashleigh mentioned.

"No, we didn't. It's just as I told Ashleigh and the others," she smiled. "He is with Rukia chan."

"There is something in the way he is looking at you in this picture. Plus you never talk of anything related to your time in Japan. At first I thought it was because of the hard times that you had with your family, but now seeing this I'm not too sure." He placed the photo album down on the counter. The pages were covered in pictures of her four closest friends. "Then there's."

Orihime willed herself not to stare at the imagines. She could sense William's frustration and was unsure if knowing about her past would hurt him. He never acted as a jealous man. Knowing full well that her career put her in the public eye. Fans and admirers were common, and he never seemed to mind. This was a different side of him. There wasn't anger, just hurt.

"William, you are being silly," she reached for the dish towel to dry her hands. Her eyes softened from their normal gray to a shade of purple.

"You say his name in your sleep. I wasn't sure when you called him Kurosaki, but the moment you said Ichigo, I was positive." William finished his thought. His fists clenched and slightly shaking.

"I, I, do what?" Orihime was unaware of her own self betrayal. The dishtowel being squeezed in between her hands.

"Each night that I have slept beside you, you have said that name as if it hurts you," he swallowed hard. His green eyes meant hers. "I need to know what he is to you."

"He's a friend no more. Our town was not always safe, and he protected me a lot, along with our other friends," she suppressed her attachment to the man. Turning away from William. "It's hard to explain, but I'm sure I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for him."

"I know Orihime, that we have both had people in our past that we loved," he moved forward turning her toward him. "But you keep everything so locked away, it's like a barrier that stops up from being one. I love you, I want to be your future, and if you keep letting the past interfere, how can we move forward?"

His voice was so sincere in it's plea, it broke her heart. Tears fell from her eyes, but she could only nodded. Her eyes drifted to the album on the counter, and to the orange haired teenager she could never forget. The embrace he held her in was unfufiling and made her only long to be beside Ichigo more.

"I should shower now," she mumbled into his chest. Pulling away from him, she walked past toward her bedroom.

In the shower, she could let the full extent of her emotions loose. The noise from the iPod docked would help drown out the grief she felt.

Aizen was defeated, leaving Orihime confused about her true feeling toward the soul reaper. Many days she had spent with Ulquiorra in Hueco Mundo caused her to examine her own heart. She wasn't sure if the love she felt for Ichigo was in vain. It was a difficult relationship she shared with Ulquiorra as her guard, but part of her felt a connection with the arrancar. His own search for what were human emotions led to a soft spot in her heart. This feeling of affection for him led to her own doubt of her true feelings for Ichigo. Unsure if she really loved the shinigami, if she could be so easily fascinated with Ulquiorra. Many nights she'd dream of his hand extending to hers and each time it slipped through her grasp.

When the battle cleared and they were able to leave Hueco Mundo,. Rukia embraced Ichigo with a confession of her own feelings for him. Making it impossible for Orihime to state the confusion she felt in her heart. Rukia was in love with Ichigo, and Orihime could not ruin that. Part of her wanted to scream because she'd missed her opportunity. Reflecting back, she always questioned the look in Ichigo's eyes when she rushed Chad, Ishida, and Renji away to give the couple privacy. She was sure their glances held for an eternity. In the end her friendship with Rukia was more important, and Ichigo's happiness outweighed all else.

Orihime continued fighting beside the rest. Defeating Aizen did not stop people from naturally dying or the souls from becoming hollows. The Soul Society still had a purpose for each of them. Each encounter became harder for the young woman. Feelings that she shared for Ulquiorra were laid to rest, and her heart let her know that no one could replace Ichigo. Feelings for him had not diminished.

It would be easy to say to the object of her affection how she felt. To express her feelings, then let him see the depth of her heart. That she always thought would turn into a disaster. Rukia did not deserve to feel the betrayal of one who could be called her best friend. Orihime would never want that for the petite soul reaper. If she carried the same sentiment in her heart for Ichigo, then she understood Rukia better than anyone else.

Confessing to Ichigo would also put him in an awkward spot. She would never expect him to leave Rukia and return her love, but she knew he would feel responsible for hurting her. That was the type of man he was. The problems and struggles of his friends he felt as his own. If he knew he was the cause of Orihime's pain to would break his heart. Orihime only wanted Ichigo's happiness, and she would not make him feel obligated to her.

She would not admit openly her love for him, but a part of her that was locked away, screamed for him to know. The weight it placed on her small shoulders eventually became too much. Emotions that she worked so hard to bury started to leak out becoming apparent to Chad and Uryu. A secret that each man would keep. It was also curious to Orihime that Renji would often share the same pained expression when looking at the new couple. Her suspicions confirmed when she caught the loving gaze Renji gave Rukia when she wasn't paying attention. Renji though had a better control over his sentiments.

The end came for Orihime, when she was walking along the sidewalk, and she noticed Ichigo and Chad looking at the window of a jewelry store. Ichigo's face was serious as he pointed to an item. Orihime could not bare to move forward and allow them to see her. Certain they knew she was there by her spiritual pressure, she pretend to look in the window of a woman's dress shop.

Over the next week she avoided all the others. University would begin in less than a month, and she had no intention to continue watching Ichigo and Rukia's love grow. Her passport and paperwork secure, she announced to her friends, she was off to the United States. Ichigo and Rukia were the only two shocked by the news. Tatsuki gave her blessing, understanding full well Orihime's decision.

Ichigo insisted on accompanying her to the airport, and to alleviate the pressure, Uryu suggested they all go with her. Orihime could still remember his last words.

"Why America," his brown eyes searching her gray ones. "It's not the same."

"I want to see the world," she held her head down, avoiding his face. Saying goodbye to the only man she would ever love was difficult, and to have to see his face while doing so was proving to be impossible. "This is the perfect time for me to. I have no one here to hold me back."

Ichigo mumbled something under his breath and lifted her face to see into her eyes. "I won't be there to help you if you need it."

"Oh, Ichigo," she faked annoyance. Trying to move away from him, but he would not release her. "Do you really think I can't take care of myself?"

"I'm sure you can, Orihime," he paused. There was an unsure twist of his mouth, like he was holding something back. "You are a lot stronger than people realize. Just remember to come back to us."

A forced smile covered her face, "Of course don't be silly. This still my home."

Tatsuki had perfect timing shuffling Orihime off to check in. With one look back she wasn't sure, but the sadness in Ichigo's face looked different than that of the others.

This Orihime convinced herself was a figment of her imagination. For to hope that he would really want her around was too much.

The water began to run cold, and she stepped from the shower. Drying her hair and body, she wrapped the towel around her body to go into her bedroom. Williams was considerate enough to allow her some privacy. Without actually admitting the truth behind her feelings for Ichigo, she was sure he understood and would not bring up the subject again.

Dressed she turned to the picture of her brother, Sora. Words spoken, to the elder Inoue, asking for guidance and support. Orihime recognized she needed to lay the feelings for the strawberry man to rest and move forward to love the brunette who would willingly love her in return. A new determination in her mind, she stood and opened her bedroom door.

"It has been a long night," her boyfriend looked down at her softly when he approached her. "We don't have to go to Audrey's play if you don't feel up to it."

"I'll be okay, and you aren't getting out of your niece's play." Orihime turned and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water for the bedside table.

"Orihime, come on," he begged, while following her and pulling his sweater over his head. The deep voice muffled, "It's a junior high production of Romeo and Juliet, and she's not even the lead."

"But she will be so disappointed if we aren't there." Orihime reached for a glass. A tug in her stomach made her jump. The screech of another hollow sounded in the distance. Then there was a familiar feeling heading toward her apartment building.

'No, no,' she thought. 'It can't be.'

The glass shook in her hand, and she placed it under the faucet.

"Are you ok?" William grabbed her elbow to steady sloshing of the water in the sink. "Orihime?"

'Maybe, this is a mistake,' her mind processed. 'Why would he be so near?'

"Orihime!" William's voice shouted at her.

Her head snapped to the sound. A buzz on her door, made them both look to the living room, although she knew who was already there.

"Who could it be at this time of night, and how did they get past the doorman?" Williams asked irritated. He walked to the living room, with her slowly behind.

The door buzzed again, and William turned to her giving her the chance to answer his question.

"Who is it?" he peeked into the peephole, when she did not move forward.

"Is this the residence of Inoue Orihime," a voice asked in English with a heavy Japanese accent.

"Who would like to know?" William seemed angered at the face he saw.

"I am a friend of hers from Japan, and it is very important that I speak with her."

"If you are a friend, then you have no trouble with giving your name," the lawyer's voice growing more agitated.

"It's okay, William, please let him in." Orihime spoke. Her hands gripping the edge of her night shirt.

William looked betrayed but opened the door. In the hallway just a little taller than she remembered stood Uryu. His dark hair neatly combed, along with the pressed suit that was underneath his heavy winter coat.

"Thank you," he bowed to William. His eye going over the man, sizing him up in case need be. He waited for the other to return the gesture.

Orihime cleared her throat, and bowed to the man in the hallway. William gave a nod of his head and opened the door wider for the quincy.

"Ojya ma shi masu." Uryu's voice sounded in the room, and he removed his shoes, walking into the apartment.

Orihime was taken over at seeing her old friend and rushed to embrace him.

"It is nice to see you as well Orihime," he smiled into the hug and in an unlike quincy fashion, squeezed her.

"Why are you here?" Orihime questioned. Her natural intuition switched her from English to Japanese.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you and your husband this late at night," he looked over to William with an embarrassed blush.

"No, he is not my husband, merely my boyfriend," she corrected, looking at the American.

William took the moment to clear his throat, reminding the pair he had yet to be introduced.

"William Courtier, this is Ishida Uryu." Orihime presented her boyfriend and friend.

Uryu politely bowed once more, and William returned the gesture with what could be considered a rude nod of his head.

Orihime blushed deeply, giving William a stern look, and bowed deeply to her guest, "Forgive me Uryu, for not properly instructing him on our etiquette."

William shot her a look that stated she did not need to apologize for him. Orihime ushered the two into the living room.

"I understand," he accepted. "I am afraid that I come to request a favor."

Orihime read the abnormal look of concern on his face. Uryu was a master at hiding his emotions during troubled times. Orihime had a gift for reading the emotions behind her friends' stern faces. For him to come all this way, though if he traveled as a spiritual being did, the trip was only a matter of minutes, meant there was indeed a larger problem.

"What is it?" Orihime was scared to ask.

William watched the pair, lost in the foreign language they so easily spoke in. He sat in the arm chair, while they stood facing one another.

"It's Chad, he needs you," the quincy's voice quivered at the statement. With a quick glance at the other male, he asked. "He is not familiar with our culture, but does he speak our language?"

"No, he does not other than simple salutations," she answered. The knot in her stomach that formed before they answered the door began to grow. "What is wrong with Chad?"

"There was a battle, a menos grande appeared, and Chad was injured." Uryu flatly stated. "Tessai san has tried, to repair the damage, but it does require your abilities."

Orihime's knees buckled at the news. She moved over to the couch to sit on the arm.

"Orihime," her boyfriend called to her and jumped up to be by her side. "Listen, I don't know what you have said to her, but you need to leave. Whatever it is has upset her."

"Orihime, I understand why you left," he continued ignoring William's words. He looked to her hair for the familiar hair clips that were not there. "But Chad will die without your help."

"And will he be there," she looked up into his blue eyes meekly. Part of her hoped for Ichigo to be there, just to see him once more. Yet deep in her heart, she knew that if she were ever to get over him, it would be best if he were not around.

"Ichigo is not there. He, Renji, and Captain Kuchiki have been sent on assignment."

The mention of his name made William frown.

"I will go for Chad, but please do not mention him again. I fear this trip will already be the death of me." Orihime's gray eyes pleaded with Uryu to honor this.

"Very well," he agreed. "We will need to leave immediately. I will give you the chance to clear up anything here and to prepare a bag. Urahara has given us a forty minute interval before the portal will reopen."

"Please be seated." Orihime turned from Uryu to William. "We need to speak."

She stood, leading him to her bedroom. When he entered, she closed the door behind her.

"I have to go to Japan," she spoke softly, not really sure how to bring up the subject. Instinctively she picked up the hair pins from in front of her brothers picture. A surge of energy passed through her body when they were in place. She qucikly changed from her night clothes.

"What?" William asked. His green eyes turning dark. "What could possible be in Japan for you?"

"Chad, needs me." Orihime answered. She crossed the room, and pull out her carry on case, and stepped over to her dresser.

"I don't care who needs you, your life is no longer there, it's here." William crossed over to stop her.

"He is dying, and he was one of my closest friends. I have to go." Orihime looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"What about him," he asked. His voice cracking just slightly. "What about Ichigo?"

Orihime had never seen him upset like this. William was a typical A type personality. Confident, strong, and fearless. The look on his face was read fear.

"What has Chad got to do with him?" Orihime could not bare to speak that name so freely, and was a little upset that William said it so casually.

"You are going to Japan for a dying friend. If Ichigo is a good of friend as you said, he'll be there." William paced back and forth.

"My friend needs me. I'm not sure how you value friendship here, but I would give my life for Chad." The set determination of her task, darkened her gray eyes.

"I was just starting to breakdown this wall that," he whispered and stopped to look at her. "This wall that you have built to keep everyone out was finally starting to crumble. I've always hoped that a little more time, and the idea of a future together would help."

Orihime could say nothing to his words. She was well aware of his intentions, but she could not promise her heart to him just yet.

"You won't let me in. All of us you keep at a distance," he grabbed her shoulders. "Ashleigh was right, the way he was looking at you in that picture, is the same way I feel about you."

Orihime's heart felt heavy with guilt. This man who was so perfect in every way loved her, and she was just foolish enough to not love him back.

"William," she started. How could she make him understand she was not going to Japan for Ichigo, but for Chad. Her previous decision to try to start loving this man still stood. "Please understand, all this is for Chad, and Chad only."

"I might not be here when you get back." William looked over the top of her head. There was a finality to his voice. "Even if it's not for him, I haven't got a chance against his memory."

He released the hold he had on her shoulders and sat on her bed facing the window that looked out into the city. Orihime picked up her bag and closed the door behind her. Uryu stood and promptly took her bag. A graceful hand touched the hair pin on the left side of her head.

"You look much better now," his blue eyes smiled. A look of sympathy etched on his face, but he remained silent about the argument she was sure he overheard.

The pair arrived in Japan moments later. The familiar Urahara shop had not changed in the time she had been absent. The air of the store front dusty and products lined the shelf that no average person would have an interest in or need for. The specialty store stock was items only useful to soul reapers.

"Orihime, welcome," the blonde man smiled, waving the small fan as he spoke.

Orihime greeted him with a deep bow that he returned.

"It has been awhile, but I am sure you'll be able to help." Kitsuke's voice was calm and confident in the situation.

With a quick turn, he led her down the hallway to the room where Chad was. Opposite of the front of the store, the living quarters were warm and inviting. Orihime had always felt at home here with the others of her kind.

"It's got to be just like riding a bike." Urahara commented.

The door sounded as he slid it to allow her entrance, and Orihime gasped when she saw the man. His normally tan skin was ashen and pale. The once full face hollowed and almost carved out to the bone. The sporadic rise and fall of his chest rattled the room. His eyelids were partially open to reveal his brown eyes rolling around frantically. Bandages covered a majority of his body, and his right arm was crushed., while the right leg was missing from the hip down.

"Oh, Chad," she rocked back. Four years had passed and the reality of the monsters she had once fought so bravely returned to smack her in the face.

"Steady now," Uryu braced her. "Focus on your task, Orihime. Chad needs you."

The petite hand moved to touch the barrettes. Calling forth the Shun Shun Rikka to assist her, she began her work. Urahara was correct, in that she felt as if no time had passed from the last moment she'd used her powers. Two hours later, she sat beside Chad. Her legs folded under her bottom, and his large hand held tightly in her grasp.

Gray eyes trailed over the other scars that nicked his body. Guilt plagued her heart. Chad would not have these injuries had she'd been there to heal him. It made her wonder what scars did Uryu or Ichigo carry. Tears fell. She was truly a coward. Too scared to face her own problems, and selfishly leaving her friends when she knew they would need her.

The sliding door opened to Uryu.

"Thank you Orihime for helping him." Uryu bowed deeply. The worry and guilt in his voice was thick. "If I had been stronger or faster, this would not have happened."

He noticed the tear stained face. "Why are you crying? Chad will recover."

"I left you all when you needed me. When I'd finally found my place. I left and now look at what has happened. How many other times did you need me?"

"Orihime, do not feel like that. I can understand why you left," he offered words to comfort her. "We all do. No one blames you."

She nodded her head in appreciation of the sentiment, but still sobbed.

"You should rest," he suggested. "You have a room prepared for you.

"Thank you," she allowed him to help her to her feet. One last glance at Chad, then she followed Uryu.

Shouting woke her with a start and the immense spiritual pressure of Kurosaki, Ichigo sat weighed heavy on her chest. Panic clutched her heart as she sought out any other soul reapers. Other than Urahara and Renji there was none, and some relief came over her. Fear that her face would reveal her true sentiments, she did not think she could face both Ichigo and Rukia.

Uryu approached her room knocking gently.

"Come in," she offered.

"Did I wake you," he searched her face. He was positive she could feel Ichigo and wasn't sure of her reaction.

"No, I was already awake."

"I guess it couldn't be helped. As if anyone could sleep with the pair of them around," he muttered more to himself than her. "I am sorry. Their assignments ended earlier than we anticipated."

Looking down at her hand, she lied for his sake. "It's okay. It's not like you planned this."

Her head rose, and Uryu's turned to the door. For a moment they watched the spiritual pressure of Ichigo pace back and forth nervously in front of the door.

"How is Chad?" Orihime asked. Her eyes still glued to the door.

"He is resting. Urahara believes he will wake up at any moment," the quincy spoke, his face still pointed at the door.

"I'll take care of that," he looked at her annoyed with the other man. "Breakfast or dinner in your case, will be ready soon."

"Thank you," she smiled gratefully. Uryu had always protected her just a little differently than Chad or Ichigo. Their time together in Soul Society while rescuing Rukia, had given them both a stronger bond.

He crossed the room graceful as ever, and slid the door open and closed quickly.

"Just what do you think you are doing, you idiot," he snapped at Ichigo.

"I want to see Orihime," he answered.

The sound of his voice pulled her stomach into her throat. Her hand grabbed the blanket twisting it. Her name sounded like music from his voice.

He was just outside the room. Orihime closed her eyes to keep from leaping out of the bed to him.

The voices were muffled but still arguing as they faded away from her doorstep. Orihime collected herself and began her daily routine. Not sure of how long she would stay, she tried to wait out Ichigo's presence. An effort that was futile because she knew he was stubborn and would not leave until satisfied by seeing her.

Sighing she rose and went to Chad's room. The sun had set and she shook her head at the number that was going on with her internal clock. Chad was still resting, but his color had returned. The leg and arm looked strong, and his breathing was regular.

The young woman decided she was not hungry and turned to go back to the security of her room.

"Orihime," the rough voice spoke her name. She had not noticed his presence until he was behind her, by using flash step.

Hairs stood on the back of her neck and arms. The sound she'd so longed to hear was calling to her. She dared not to turn around.

"Walk with me please," he requested and didn't wait for a response taking her by the elbow toward the front door of the shop.

Orihime could not help but notice the touch of anger in the way he'd asked her to accompany him. She did get a quick look at him. Not clad in soul reaper gear, he wore jeans and a bright blue t-shirt, with a thin black and blue jacket over top.

Silently they walked toward the deserted park near the shop. Ichigo continued to lead her and stopped when they arrived at the picnic area. She'd tried to control the side long glances that she was stealing. The moon had began to brighten in the sky, and the soft glow of the lampposts created a haze.

Ichigo sat on the top of the picnic table and gestured for her to do the same.

"Thank you for saving Chad," he finally spoke.

The night was cool, but not as cold as New York City.

"He's my friend, and I was happy to help," she answered. Her hands folded neatly on her lap.

An awkward silence fell back between them.

"I've seen your show," he continued. He looked toward the moon. "You're pretty good at hosting."

Her face warmed at the compliment.

"Thank you. I enjoy it." Orihime could feel his energy next to her. "I've always loved unusual food."

The vizard snorted in response and went silent again.

"Are you cold?" Ichigo responded to her shiver. He began to pull off the wind breaker he wore.

He was unaware that her reaction was due to being so close to him.

"No, I'm fine. It's not quite as cold as back home," she waved away in protest.

"Home," he turned to face her with an orange eyebrow raised.

Orihime could not answer, and the look in his eye confused her.

"Am I your friend," his voice was cold, but there were traces of pain within it.

Blinking quickly, she turned to look back at the moon.

"Yes, you are."

"It doesn't feel like it," he continued. "Four years without a word. We'd shared meals, laughter, tears, and helped each other get stronger. We'd risked our lives together, and you leave with a bullshit excuse. But not just that, you cut us out of your life completely."

Orihime fidgeted in her spot. She had hoped to avoid this conversation with any of her friends should she see them.

"Ichigo," she began.

"No, I'm not done," he interrupted, his voice growing angrier. "You think it doesn't hurt? For someone so close to me to just walk out of my life? We missed you. Was I such a lousy friend for you to do that? I did my best to protect you. I worked so hard to get stronger for all of you. Maybe I should have left to live in Soul Society just make sure you were safe. If I weren't here then none of you would have to fight so much. You all could be safe and happy. "

The words had started to give her hope that she meant something to him, but in the end her hope was squashed. Again he thought of her as equal to Uryu or Chad. That was Ichigo, always wanting to help others.

"We were okay. We all knew what our lives were," she tried to calm down. She was giving an honest effort to return to William. "Chad, Uryu, and I, we all knew. And we would have helped you anyway. We always wanted to be strong enough to support you."

Ichigo moved from his spot on the table. His hand thrusted into the jeans pockets and kept his back to her.

"I don't mean that you were weak, and I wasn't talking about them" Ichigo let out in frustration. "I wanted to keep what was most important to me safe. And I didn't and you left. I didn't know if I would ever see you again."

He turned to her, but Orihime's face as staring at her shoes.

"Now, now you won't even look me in the eye. Was it that hard being close to me?"

Her eyes were tight, forcing back the tears. He confused her, and she didn't know what to think.

"Look at me Orihime," he stood in front of her.

"I can't. I can't do that to Rukia," she blurted out and turned away. "I can't look at you."

"What does she have to do with this?" He leaned his body forward, trapping her there with a hand on each side of her.

"This has everything to do with her! She's my friend."

"I see you every week on that show, smiling at the camera. For the food you eat or the recipes you prepare, you always have a genuine smile." Ichigo didn't answer her question. "But in an interview or when the camera shows you going to commercial, I see the pain in your eyes. The loneliness."

She looked at the picnic table, still avoiding his gaze.

"You say New York is your home. That's not your home," his voice began to calm. "Home is where you have people that love you. Where the person that loves you is."

Her mind flooded with images of Rukia. This wasn't happening. She had to get away from Ichigo. He was too close, and she could feel her breath, the heat of his body, the scent of his hair. What was he doing?

It was unlike him. His loyalty was his best quality, and he was placing her in an unfair position. Sliding back away from him, she pleaded, "Ichigo please stop."

"Orihime."

"Think of Rukia," she pushed her hand out and moved him back. The moon behind him illuminated his hair and cause his brown eyes to shine. She was trapped there, overwhelmed by her feelings for him and her loyalty to Rukia.

Ichigo looked into her gray orbs and read the confusion. The substitute soul reaper moved back into her personal space.

"What does Renji's wife have to do with me telling you I love you?"

Words rolled over her in waves. Each one processed in her mind.

"What," she gasped. Her eyes frantically searching his.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear. "Since the moment you were taken by Aizen, my dreams were haunted by these words, 'five life times.' I never knew who said it or what it meant, but it was always there."

Orihime's lip quivered at the memory. The last person she was allowed to visit before leaving with the traitor, Aizen was Ichigo. She had wished to spend five life times and each with Ichigo at her side.

"But Rukia," she questioned.

"When we returned from Hueco Mundo, my dream became clear. My mind finally realized it, and what I'd known all along my heart." Ichigo smiled his crooked smile. "I loved you."

She looked away at the words being said again.

"When you left, I broke down. I couldn't handle life without you in it. Rukia watched and realized two things. One, I would never love her that way, and two, the only person she could feel that pain for was Renji."

"What?"

"Rukia's true feelings for Renji were opened, and we split up with a better understanding of one another." Ichigo reflected. "They began to date and have married, but you never came back."

"I thought," she held her hand to her mouth. The truth was confusing her.

"You thought you were nothing to me," he touched her hair. "But it's not true, you're everything to me. You had one more year, before I came to New York for you."

Her heart swelled with emotion. She was unsure of how to react to this confession.

"I've loved you, and I've tried to escape you. My heart always comes back to you," she confessed. A blush claimed her face.

"Five life times," he looked in her eyes. The confidence that made him Kurosaki Ichigo returned. "And each one with you."

She didn't have time to response, as his lips touched hers. Heat moved over her body from her toes to her forehead. Warm arms snaked around his neck. The soul reaper's tongue swept over her lips, asking for entrance. Which she readily gave. She couldn't help but peek at his face during the kiss. Ichigo's hands embraced her, pulling her away from her spot on top of the picnic table and keeping her close, though her feet did not touch the ground.

The kiss lasted long enough for the pair to gasp for air.

Ichigo placed her down gently, and wiped away the tears on her cheeks.

"I'm anxious to see New York City," he smirked. "I have some time off from University for the holidays. If that's ok?"

"I would love to show you New York City," she timidly answered. "But after winter vacation?"

"I have to return to university. It's a promise to my dad, to one day help him in the clinic," his smiled went to a frown. "But your contract ends?"

"One more year," she swallowed. She felt as if she were greedy. The man she loved was holding her close, and she could be with him after a year, but that would be year without him.

"Funny, looks like it will be fives years then since you left." Ichigo frowned just a little. "I'm sure you can find a away to get a great cooking show here."

Orihime's brow wrinkled as she thought of his words. A smile given after her decision made.

"No, I don't want that," she began. Her index finger guided over the small scar over his arm. "After seeing Chad and knowing a soul reaper is what you are destine to do, I can't allow you to go into a fight without me beside you."

"I don't want you in danger," he squeezed her closer. "I just got you."

A mischievous grin brightened her eyes, "Then you'll have to keep getting stronger."

He laughed, "I guess I should do this the proper way, so there's no misunderstanding."

Orihime looked confused but waited, nervously.

"Inoue, Orihime, I love you. I want you to be my girlfriend for now," he interlaced his hand with hears. "And for later, my wife, but forever my love. Can you accept me as such?"

"Yes, Ichigo always," she replied a little to fast to her liking, and making her red.

The substitute soul reaper pulled her to him once more, kissing her. Orhime's heart pounded in her ear once more. As his lips pressed against hers, he sealed their lives and futures together.

* * *

hmm...so what do you think? do you know how many times my fingers natrually typed the name sakura instead of orihime?

and i couldn't decide between calling ichigo a vizard, substitute soul reaper, soul reaper, or shimigami...so i used them all.

let me know what you think...should i just stick to naruto, or do i have some bleach potential?

love ya all....terri


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